The beauty about beauty parlour gossip is that at times topics can get heated beyond the heat from the hair dryers.
Ladies’ favourite topic was in the air at the classic Phase 2 Unisex Saloon and Spa located at Isolo, Lagos. Women poured out their hearts as to why married men would hide their rings and pretend to be single just to go out with single ladies.
Madam Suzan Ikhisemoje, owner of Phase 2 Unisex Saloon and Spa, checked on Melissa’s hair, her regular client. She needed to find out whether Melissa’s hair was dried enough so she could come out of the hairdryer. Melissa was undaunted by the hum and heat from the dryer as she rendered her experience on the matter.
According to Melissa, Ugo had dated her for one month and, of course, he claimed to be single. One day, Melissa saw a lady’s picture on his WhatsApp. Ugo denied saying that was his elder sister who just got married. Then one awkward day, that same woman called Melissa’s number out of the blues. Melissa recorded their phone conversation. The woman even sent pictures of their wedding. With all the evidence, Ugo still denied that he wasn’t married!
Pouting her lips in disgust, Melissa hissed saying, “My sister, fear men o! Ugo would follow me to church and everywhere. He would call me like 120 times a day. Did you know he wanted to introduce himself to my family? Not until his wife called that day! But it didn’t end there. Three years after this nightmare, Ugo still called me to tell me that he loves me. Imagine the cheek! He sounded depressed. But after that I never heard from him again.”
It was Kehinde’s turn to speak. Her hair was rolled up but not yet time for the dryer.
Kehinde’s experience was back then in 2012 while still in school. She had asked this guy if he was married and he said no. But Kehinde had this hanging suspicion that he was not being honest.
So one day she decided to call him using a friend’s number. Kehinde said she was a customer of his wife who wanted to repay a loan the wife had given to her. Immediately, she heard the guy screaming in the background of the phone, ” Darling! Darling!! Come and talk to your customer.” Kehinde said she quickly switched off the phone. She later called him to ask him if it was worth denying his wife and children because of what he may never get. She never saw him again.
Suzan”s salon was now heating up with all this gossip. Julia, done with her hair, was enjoying the conversation. She decided to add her experience.
Julia met Michael on Facebook and they’ve been chatting for two months. That is, after lying that he wasn’t married and was seeking a serious relationship. “Imagine the daft, ” Julia howled, “he claimed to be single yet had a picture of a lady as his profile pics.” At first, Julia was like…, “Why would this man lie about his marital status or could he be divorced?”
Julia explained further, “I checked the lady’s Facebook profile and started chatting with her. She told me she was Michael’s wife and that he has three grown up kids! Na so church dismiss! I sharpily-sharpily sent a message telling him to go and take care of his family! Till now, Michael still claims to be single. This guy still claimed his wedding was an arrangee wedding because of travelling. LIARS!”
Susan helped summarize the whole issue raised by bashing up men folks who hide their marital status. Hear her: Cheating husbands are demonic! They are malicious! They are toxic! They are the lowest creatures to ever walk this earth.
No sane woman would endure the thought of becoming a second fiddle. These crafty scumbag think they are smart. But they are just digging their early graves. They feed you with lies with stupid promises just to end in between your legs!”
As the ladies in the beauty salon bare their minds, the question still lingers: Why do married men pretend to be single online?
From Susan’s outburst, you would conveniently think the answer would be: sex. But sex therapists would tell you it’s more complicated than that.
It’s puzzling that a married man would lie and romance a young woman, knowing that such a relationship has no future. Why do they do it? And why are they so prevalent on the internet?
Married men, who make believe they’re single online, can be compared to men who are hooked on gambling.
Addicted gamblers would borrow money to use at the gambling table despite the fact that they’ll never be able to recover such money. So, you can imagine the mindset of such a man. Once he is into it, he wouldn’t care even if he was going to lose.
Pretending to be single online does require a particular mindset. Such a man must psychologically invoke a short-term mental attitude because he knows such affairs will not end well. What about his emotions? A pretender online must ensure he bottles up every feeling that would compromise his prank. Did you know that such a mindset is emotional torture and many may not be able to withstand such stress? Small wonder such elderlies who cheat end up kicking the bucket on top of their lovers.
Still, why do it? Why hide the wedding ring and go after single women, knowing you’re just going to break their hearts?
Mental health professionals have lots of theories on this issue such as early emotional abuse, neglect, too few good role models, too many bad ones. The stories usually involve early heartbreak—children starved for love and told they’re no good by parents who were treated the same way, and the cycle continues.
For men caught up in serially repeating one of these pathetic stories as reasons to cheat online, I’m sorry to inform you that the internet would simply let you fool yourself with a larger audience.
It’s pertinent to point out here that emotional insecurity that leads men into such crazy acts can be traced to their childhood. It’s important we teach our children to be careful with how they deal with people’s emotions. We need to teach the young ones that true relationships begin with honesty. True relationships do not dazzle like stories in Disney and romance novels.
As parents, we need to do our part in curbing this scourge. We need to invest quality time heavily in the emotional makeup of our kids. We must ensure our children don’t go out into the world too hungry for love. Let’s show care and the true value of family bonding.