How Lockdown Turned Me Into Yahoo-Yahoo

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The pandemic, I must confess, has turned me into a beggar and it’s really, REALLY serious. My job as a private school teacher no longer exists. Most private schools have stopped paying their staff salaries since pupils no longer attend schools and as a result, parents do not pay school fees. Most of the complaints and rant, about the government not assisting private schools, have fallen on deaf ears. Then I met Bobo.

Yahoo boy sitting in his car

Yahoo boy sitting in his car

Everybody knew Bobo is a Yahoo boy. He just bought a nice Prado SUV, rented a three-bedroom flat, and ‘tasting’ furnished it, ALL IN THIS PANDEMIC O!

So, I approached the bros (Bobo must be like 20 years my junior). Money is a funny thing, they?! Because of money, one small boy has suddenly turned to bros before my very eyes.

Bobo is a friend to a friend of a friend that knows one personal friend of mine. I was seriously eager to ask him, “Can you teach me how to do Yahoo-Yahoo?” Instead of asking directly, I rambled on and on and on. On how my blog wasn’t getting enough views. How things have become unbearably difficult. How the government ignored private school teachers….and so on. I just couldn’t brace myself to ask Tobi how he does online scam a.k.a Yahoo-Yahoo.

Typing on a laptop

Typing on a laptop

Bobo just smiled. He knew what I was driving at. So he asked, “Bros. You wan do Yahoo-Yahoo?” I was shocked by his bluntness.

“Ah-aah. Guy, try and be coded naa! I get a laptop and I need an original VPN. I get an idea o! But how to start is my main problem.”

Bobo laughed at my gullible insistence on secrecy. He said he knew a guy who could sell original VPN for #4000. I repeated that my problem was how to start. He took my phone, opened the Facebook app, then searched for Rotten Tomatoes. He told me verified pages like Rotten Tomatoes have members from the United States. One can get acquainted with these people then secure a cordial relationship with them, before you know it they may eventually send you some dollars.

Fed up! No income from blogging yet

Fed up! No income from blogging yet

Menhaden sounded like a long thing! I decided to give it a shot. So I registered with Rotten Tomatoes. I registered on other Facebook groups such as Widows dating group, Single Parents, Divorce, Single Parents 40+, Senior Dating 50/60. I also registered on several Facebook bloggers’ groups which I hoped would improve views on my blog.

Singles Facebook group

Singles Facebook group

By the way, I have been working pretty hard on my six months old blog. They say the secret to a successful blog is to churn out more engaging articles, get more traction on followers and voila! Money starts rolling in. Adsense would pay at least $100 every month, which is around #37000. That money can surely solve a lot of problems. But who am I kidding? My Adsense account barely bleeds up to $5 after six months!

Back to my Yahoo adventure. I never got far with Rotten Tomatoes. But the other groups were a hit. I was hailed and welcomed in several groups. One group, Single parents 40+, is dominated by South African women. I received 40 welcome messages from members of that group. Welcome messages popped up everywhere: Welcome king; Welcome sweety; Feel at home; You are welcome, may God give you the desires of your heart.

A Philippino Facebook friend

A Philippino Facebook friend

At this point in time, my thoughts of scamming just fizzled away. I didn’t have it in me to scam anyone. Meanwhile, I was enjoying a brand new ‘Yahoo’ world that just uncovered before my very eyes. A world existing through Facebook. A new world of interaction with people from across the globe – real people! And as a writer, I cherish such opportunities. Nothing beats the mystery laden experience in having a first-hand experience from diverse people across the continent! The feeling is truly nostalgic.

A Nigerian scammer

A Nigerian scammer

Barely 24 hours after registering with these groups, I had my first Facebook video call through Messenger from a Philippino woman. I initially missed her call, so I tried calling back. Unfortunately, the missed calls went on for the next two days. Finally, on the third day, I sent a message that I was available. In a twinkle of an eye, the call came through. My excitement knew no bounds. We spoke for barely two minutes and she said she needed to prepare herself dinner. I told her goodbye. Later on, the lady sent a message through Messenger apologizing that she was ashamed. I asked her what she was ashamed about. She told me I was too young for her because she was 60 years old. I placated her that age is just a number. We are now good friends on Facebook.

I know of a Nigerian scammer who would chat with 20 women at the same time! He claims he made up to $20000 through online dating scams. Now I’ve gotten to this point and, by the way, I use my original Facebook account that contains virtually 15 years of my life history. It certainly would be foolish of me to scam anyone because if ‘I try am’, EFCC may end up becoming my best friends for life.

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21 thoughts on “How Lockdown Turned Me Into Yahoo-Yahoo

  1. vicks

    Although you shared the difficult phase of your life, but it was presented in such a funny manner that i couldn’t help myself from laughing n feeling bad for u at the same time. Keep up the hard word man 👊 success will follow.

    Reply
    1. Anthony Garland Post author

      Thanks for the kind words. Most of the stories in the blog are actual personal experiences. Some are unbelievable, and of course, they are hidden in the guise of name change.

      Reply
  2. Kord Blog

    Oops! Such a poor scammer haha! Try and be an EFCC Gold digger. This story is fabulously written, kudos!

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Nigerian Internet Scammers Are Becoming Much Younger - Ovasabi

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