These X-rated Sex Stuff May Get My Blog Banned

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Disclaimer: Before you start thinking this is porn stuff, it ain’t.

Despite the disclaimer, this post sure has lots of steamy, hot sex in it. But before any form of revulsion starts manifesting, remember that most of you don’t find it x-rated checking up on TMZ to catch up on the latest sleezy celebrity sex scandals. I bet you never realised that you’ve been missing a whole lot by not watching Discovery or National Geographic instead. Wait till you read about some of the hot gossips on what our celebrity animals are doing in the wild. Check these animal sex scandals that will blow your rooftop.

1 Banana Slugs Slugging It Out With Male Sex Organs From Their Heads. 

Banana slugs

Banana slugs slugging it out

Banana slugs literally have huge ones. Their method of reproduction can be as ugly as their appearance: The scientific name for one species of banana slug is Ariolimax dolichophallus, the second part of the name simply translates to “long penis,” and that tells you that biologists can be x-rated too! The invertebrates’ male structures can be 6 to 8 inches long, which is the entire length of the slug’s body. During sex, the privates grow out of pores in their head. It isn’t unusual for one of the slugs to get stuck inside the other during copulation; to solve this uncomfortable situation, the slug on the receiving end will eat off the male organ that’s stuck inside it.

2. Science Still Can’t Figure Out How Eels Make Love

Eel finds its mate

Eel finds its mate

Who ever has the time to think about how eels copulate? Well, the great scientist, Sigmund Freud actually pondered over this without success. Eels didn’t appear to have testes or ovaries, and no one had ever seen them mating. Sigmund Freud was so obsessed with it in his youth that he dissected countless eels trying to figure it out, before eventually giving up to move onto other areas of inquiry. What we’ve learned about eel biology in the intervening centuries only makes it weirder: Eels go through four stages of life, and during the last one, their stomachs dissolve so they can no longer eat, their bodies are like “Well, ’bout to die, guess I better make more of me,” and they just develop reproductive organs from out of nowhere. So how do eels do their deed? Still waiting on scientists to reveal their x-rated versions.

3. Angler Fish: The Clingy Boyfriend

The clingy boyfriend

The clingy boyfriend

Angler fish mating begins when the male angler fish literally sinks his teeth into the female. Sounds more like a horror movie than animal porn. He attaches himself permanently and lives as a parasite on the female’s larger body. However, as their bodies fuse, the male becomes completely absorbed into the female, losing any independent existence. All that remains are a pair of gonads, which the female keeps to use when she’s ready to reproduce. You agree with me that this should belong to the horror category. 

4. Reptile Lesbians

Mexican whiptail lesbian lizards

Mexican whiptail lesbian lizards

Somewhere along the meandering path of evolution, a branch of the reptilian tree decided it was fed up with males and their worthless sperm, and there arose the first reptilian lesbians! Today’s New Mexico whiptail lizards (Aspidoscelis neomexicanus) are one of several all-female species, like the Amazons, that reproduce without male counterparts. These lady lizards clone themselves in perpetuity, producing eggs with twice the typical number of chromosomes that can develop into embryos without being fertilized by a single sperm. (They do, however, still show some proclivities for mating behaviors, with females mounting females—an act that might boost fertility.)

New Mexico whiptails came about via the union of two separate species, the little striped whiptail and the western whiptail. 

Alert: The following is not for the lily livered!

5. She Is A Man Eater But He’s Willing To Die For Love

After we are done, go ahead and bite my head off

After we are done, go ahead and bite my head off

For the male praying mantis, mating can be deadly. That’s because the female of the species is, quite literally, a maneater. Male mantises frantically pursue a mate just before winter sets in, when they are facing an imminent, slow death. Perhaps that’s why they don’t seem to mind the second option: Being decapitated and eaten alive mid-fornication.

Why do the female bugs turn cannibalistic mid-shag? Sex takes a lot of energy, and devouring their partner is a great source of nutrition that boosts her ability to produce fertilized eggs. She’ll start with the head, because male mantises can actually keep at it for a while without it. (In one documented case, a female ate her mate’s head before they got busy and he still did the deed.)

As a male perishes, his abdomen spasms, pumping sperm into the partner and thus increasing the likelihood of mating success. When it’s all said and done, the female gobbles up her mate’s carcass, his lifeless body. A gruesome way to go, but at least he didn’t die cold and alone?

6. A Very Cautious Lover

Easy girl, I know what you can do

Easy girl, I know what you can do

Black widow spiders are so named because of the widespread belief that the female spider always eats her partner after sex, but the mating habits of these arachnids aren’t actually so black and white.

In each of about three black widow species, the male is no more than half the size of the female. After maturing, the male will spin a small “sperm web.” He deposits some semen into the web and coats his palps —two appendages near the mouth, which resemble tiny claws or thick antennae — with sperm. He then sets off to find a female of his species.

When he finds a mature female, the male will perform a vibratory song and dance on her web by plucking the strands as he walks around. He cautiously makes his way to the female, and then starts tapping her body. Eventually, the male will insert his palps into the female’s reproductive opening on her abdomen. With his sperm deposited, the male hightails out of there, lest he becomes a post-sex snack — at least for species that prefer a post-coital meal.

7. When Love Enters Injury Time

The love backstabbers

The love backstabbers

Like many hermaphrodites, flatworms procreate by stabbing each other with sharp appendages that only vaguely resemble penises. But flatworms aren’t content to be lovingly stabbed with a dart. Instead, they ‘penis’ fence (yes, that is the scientific term for it). Which is to say, they use their dagger-like penises (really they’re called stylets) to fight each other for up to an hour. The loser is whoever gets stabbed. That flatworm acts as the “mother,” and will later lay the fertilized eggs.

8. For Gay Members Only

The gay club

The gay club

Homosexuality is an inherited biological trait in some members of the animal kingdom, and nowhere is homosexuality more rife than among male sheep. By some estimates, almost 10 percent of rams prefer to mate with other rams rather than females. Lest you think this is the unintended result of human husbandry, studies have shown that the behavior of these sheep is reflected in a specific area of their brains, the hypothalamus, and is a hard-wired rather than learned behavior.

Ok. We are finally done here. Do you know some more crazy, x-rated sex gossips in the animal kingdom that you’ll like to share? Feel free to do so below.

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